and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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