I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize