You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize