Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
