The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
