when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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