it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
