He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
there is glitter all over my balls
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize