Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
