It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
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