k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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