took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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