im about as happy as oj after his trial
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
