you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
