I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
