I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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