so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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