Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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