how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
