Sry I called you an 8
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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