I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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