i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
