Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Damn victory sex feels great
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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