oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
