i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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