I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize