? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
