they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
