i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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