You can't special order awesome
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
