I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
