If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
