Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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