yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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