He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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