apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
