Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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