Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
