i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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