Sry I called you an 8
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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