I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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