I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Randomize
