I just cut my nipple shaving
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
