Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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