Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
