ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Bring me that man meat
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
