why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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