Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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