just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize