She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm sobbing to NWA
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
