Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
