so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
