dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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