Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize