I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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