i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
