I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
