If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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