Redeem this text for a blowjob
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
